Season of Blessing Read online

  “We’ve got some celebrating to do.” Sylvia took the license in her shaking hands, and started to laugh. “Mark, the teeth—”

  “I was just kidding,” he said. “I didn’t know they were about to snap the picture. But they’re tricky. They make you think they’re not ready yet, so you sit on that stool and look around, and then they tell you to look at the camera. They wait for, like, the stupidest expression you could make, and then they snap it. I was trying to get a laugh out of Daniel while they were setting up, but next thing I knew they were herding me off the stool.”

  Daniel joined in. “Mark begged and pleaded for them to give him another chance, but they felt they’d gotten the dumbest expression he had, so they kept it. I’d say they were right.”

  Sylvia hadn’t felt like laughing in days, but now her shoulders began to shake with the joy of these kids.

  “Yeah, Miss Sylvia. I’m like, ‘Nobody’s gonna recognize me in this picture.’ I look like that chimpanzee in that pager commercial. It’s cruel, I tell you. Cruel.”

  Sylvia handed the license back. “But the instructor said you were…what was it you told Harry? That you were the best he’d seen?”

  “Well, not the best, exactly,” Mark said. “But really good.”

  Daniel shoved him. “What he really said was, ‘Fine job, kid.’”

  “Yeah, well, he doesn’t say that to everybody, does he? He urged me not to stop with my private license. He said I was so good I should get my commercial license and drive for a living. He practically handed me a commercial license.”

  “Practically?” Sylvia asked.

  “Well, almost.”

  Forgetting her nausea, Sylvia pulled her feet up on the bed and leaned back on her pillows. “This fish is getting bigger and bigger, Mark.”

  Mark threw his head back and laughed. “Okay, so he just said, ‘Fine job, kid.’ The important thing is that he passed me.”

  “That’s right. What does your mother say?”

  He shrugged. “She kind of turned white when I asked her if I could use the car tonight. I don’t think she’s real keen on me being out there on my own behind the wheel yet, but she’ll get over it.” He slid the license into his wallet. “Hey, Miss Sylvia, I really like your hair.”

  Sylvia grinned at him. She wasn’t sure whether he was pulling her leg again. It was quite possible that Cathy hadn’t told Mark about her shaved head. “Thank you, Mark,” she said.

  “No, really. It looks great. I thought you were supposed to, like, lose your hair or something when you had chemo.”

  Sylvia smiled, and Harry stepped into the room behind them, watching for her reaction. “Some do, some don’t. Maybe I’m one of the lucky ones.”

  Mark seemed satisfied with that. “Well, we’d better go. We just wanted to show you.”

  “I’m glad you did, guys. I’m so proud of you. Even if the DMV man didn’t say you were the best he’d ever seen, I’m sure he thought it.”

  When the boys were gone, Harry came back into the bedroom and sat on the bed next to her. “See? I told you no one knows it’s a wig. It looks great.”

  She smiled. “Why is it that young people can lift my spirits so when no one else can?”

  “You miss the kids in the orphanage, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “I wonder what they’ve been told about me.”

  “They’ve been told that you’re sick and won’t be able to come back until you’re well. They’re praying for you. I e-mailed Julie with the dates of your chemo, and they’re praying hard on each of those days.”

  “I don’t want them worrying about me,” she said. “I think if I feel better tomorrow, I’ll go buy them all something and send them a big box from Mama Sylvia. I was thinking about Beanie Babies.”

  “They’ll love them.”

  “That way they’ll know I’m still kicking.” She sighed. “I wish I could go visit them between treatments.”

  “Sylvia, there’s no way. Your immune system is too weak. And look at you. You haven’t gotten out of bed for days.”

  “I know.” She slipped back under the covers and curled up. “But it’s terrible to be without them for so long.”

  “They’re being well cared for. You’re not the only one who loves them.”

  “Thank God for that.” She laid her head back on the pillow.

  “Do you think you might be able to eat now?”

  She thought about it. “Maybe. I’m not making any promises.”

  “Okay. I’ll bring you some soup.”

  “Not too hot,” she said. “My mouth is so sore.”

  He started out of the room, and Sylvia closed her eyes and wished she had the energy to sit at the table with him. But the room was beginning to spin again.

  Still, she was thankful for those two silly boys who had come by to lift her spirits. It was the first time in five days she’d seen hope that she’d emerge from under this pall of sickness. Maybe by tomorrow she could actually get out of bed.

  Cathy was in the kitchen when Mark came in, closing the back door softly behind him.

  “Mom, is Miss Sylvia going to die?”

  Cathy turned around, startled to see tears in her son’s eyes. “Why do you ask that?”

  “Because I was over there,” he said, “and she looks awful. Her face was so pale, and she’s got these sores on her mouth, and her hands were shaking.”

  Cathy abandoned what she was doing and pulled a chair out from the table. Mark sat down across from her. “We just have to pray, Mark. We just have to hope that God will spare her.”

  “And why wouldn’t he?” Mark asked. “I don’t get it. I thought God blessed his children. Why would he let them suffer like that?”

  Cathy sighed. Hadn’t she asked the same question herself a million times? “God doesn’t just take the lives of the ones he doesn’t like. He takes those he loves, too. Sylvia is not immune to death by disease. None of us is. But I think she’s going to live, Mark. I know five or six people who’ve survived breast cancer just fine. It’s highly curable. The chemotherapy is the worst part, but she’ll get through that.”

  Mark was quiet for a long moment. “Mom, I know you’re uncomfortable with my driving by myself yet, but have you decided yet if I can borrow the car?”

  Cathy stared at Mark, amazed at how fickle a teenager’s mind could be. One moment they were talking about death, and the next he was thinking of going for a joyride. She sighed. “What for?”

  “I want to buy a box of Popsicles before I go to class tonight,” he said. “I was thinking that Popsicles might be something Miss Sylvia could eat. Those sores are bound to hurt.”

  So he wasn’t thinking about joyriding, after all. He wanted to do something for their neighbor.

  Tears misted her eyes as she leaned over and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Yes, Mark. You can borrow the car. Go buy Miss Sylvia Popsicles.”

  CHAPTER

  Thirty-Seven

  That evening when Steve came home from work Cathy hit him up with what had been on her mind for several days.

  “Steve, I’ve decided I want to buy Mark a little car so he can get to his GED classes and to work as soon as he gets a job. That way we won’t have to keep taking him everywhere he has to go.”

  Steve dropped his keys on the counter. “Cathy, that’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not? He needs one, and I got one for Rick and for Annie when they started driving.”

  “I know, but I’ve always thought a kid should save up at least half the money before he gets a car.”

  “Do you know how long it would take Mark to save that kind of money? And it’s an endless cycle. He can’t get a job unless he has transportation, and he can’t get transportation unless he has a job. I want to help him. He needs some help.”

  “Cathy, we can get him to class. But how are you going to teach him about the drudgery of minimum wage work if he’s not having to pay any bills of his own?”

  “He’s sixteen,
Steve. I don’t want him to have bills! Besides, it’s not fair for me to buy a car for Rick and for Annie, then when it’s his turn tell him that I’ve changed the rules.”

  “What rules? You have a rule that you have to buy him a car?”

  “You know what I’m saying. It’s not fair if he doesn’t get one, when they did. He shouldn’t get passed over just because I remarried!”

  Steve stared at her for a moment before his face shut down. He turned to the refrigerator, opened it, and scowled inside. “Fine then. You’ve got your mind made up. I don’t even know why you asked me.”

  Cathy rolled her eyes. “Come on, Steve. I asked you because I care what you think.”

  He slammed the refrigerator door, knocking the bottles inside against each other. “Only if I think what you want me to. Go find him a car, Cathy. I won’t say another word about it.”

  “Steve, you don’t have to get mad. I wanted to talk about this. Am I not allowed to make my case?”

  “Of course you’re allowed. But you already have your mind made up, and you’re not going to take no for an answer.”

  “Well, why would you say no? I can understand your position if we were starting when Mark was ten years old, and he knew ahead of time that he’d have to save for his own car. But you don’t come up when he’s sixteen and say, ‘Oh, by the way, I may have gotten cars for your brother and sister, but you’re going to have to save for yours.’”

  “So even if what you’re doing is wrong, you do it just to be fair?”

  “Why is it wrong?”

  “Because Mark needs to learn responsibility.”

  “He will. Rick and Annie have responsibility. They both work and make good grades. Mark will too.”

  Steve breathed a derisive laugh. “Are you kidding? I don’t even think he’s looking for a job. He’s been home three months, and all he does is sleep till noon and watch television all afternoon. Then he pulls himself together and goes to class.”

  “He has been looking, Steve! You’re not here all day. You don’t know how he’s spending his time.”

  “Where has he looked? Name one place.”

  “I don’t know, but he has. He does want to work, Steve. But his record is getting in his way. He’ll get a job soon.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  She tried to calm her voice before she set him off again. “Would you just come and look at this car I found? I’m not sure if it’s reliable enough.”

  “So you didn’t really need my opinion at all. You’ve not only made up your mind, but you’ve found the car.”

  “No, I haven’t found the car. I found a car, and I wanted your input.”

  “Fine.” He grabbed up his keys. “Let’s go.”

  Cathy had hoped to change out of her jeans and tennis shoes and the baggy shirt she’d been wearing to pull weeds out of the backyard. But she knew better than to detour Steve now. She followed him out to the car and got in.

  He brooded as they drove to the car lot. She didn’t like him when he brooded. It reminded her too much of her ex-husband, when he would use his passive-aggressive silence to keep her in line.

  Steve rarely did it, so when he did, it had a greater impact.

  She brooded back, not willing to give him the satisfaction of melting into a rambling idiot trying to make up with him.

  When they got to the car lot, she led him to the little Civic she had chosen. For Mark’s sake, she broke the silence. “It seems to be in great condition. It’s four years old. I thought he’d like it.”

  Steve was quiet as he looked under the hood, examined the belts, and checked the engine for leaks. He got under the car and checked its underside, as if he would look until he found something wrong.

  Cathy bit her tongue and waited patiently for him. Finally, he stood up and brushed his hands off.

  “It looks like a good enough car,” he said. “How much is it?”

  She told him and he rolled his eyes. “Cathy, don’t you think that’s a little expensive for a kid’s first car?”

  “It’s not like it’s a Cadillac. I just want him to have something reliable, okay? I don’t want him breaking down somewhere.”

  “You could probably get an older model that might not be in perfect condition for a whole lot less money.”

  For a moment, Cathy wondered what this moment would be like if Steve were Mark’s real father. Would he want the same thing she wanted for Mark? Would he be more interested in seeing the joy on their son’s face than in grinding out some lesson on responsibility?

  Or did original parents bicker over these things, too?

  She supposed she would never know. “I want to get him this one,” she said. “This is the one I like.”

  He breathed a frustrated laugh. “Then why did you bring me here? I thought you wanted my opinion.”

  “I did want your opinion,” she said, “about whether it was reliable or not.”

  “Oh, I see. You wanted my opinion about its reliability but not about the wisdom of buying him the car.”

  “I thought we’d already been through this!”

  “We have,” Steve told her. “I’ll be waiting in the car while you do your business. You let me know what you decide.”

  She stood there at the car, hands on her hips, as the salesman strode toward her.

  “So, you want me to write it up for you, ma’am?”

  She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her, and crossing her arms, she shook her head. “No, I think I’m going to have to come back.”

  “He didn’t like it?”

  She shot a look at the car. Steve had a look of granite on his face as he stared out the side window. “No,” she said, “he didn’t.”

  “Well, what didn’t he like about it? Maybe I could show you something else.”

  She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t want to see anything else.”

  Without another word she headed for the car, got into it, and slammed the door. She snapped her seat belt into place and crossed her arms.

  He looked at a spot on his windshield. “Are you going to buy it?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t want to have to deal with your attitude.”

  “My attitude?”

  She ground her teeth. “Before I married you, Steve, I could buy anything I wanted for my children. I didn’t have to ask anybody’s permission.”

  “Well, you knew when you married me that we were pooling our finances and our children. That was the plan, anyway. I thought you valued my input.” He started the car and pulled off of the gravel lot.

  “I do value your input, Steve, except when you’re wrong.”

  “Oh, that’s just beautiful.” He set his mouth, and she was glad she couldn’t read his thoughts.

  But she spoke hers out loud. “I don’t know why you have it in for my children.”

  His eyes flashed as he turned to her. “I can’t believe you would accuse me of that.”

  “I’m not accusing you. I’m just pointing out the truth.”

  “The truth is that I have it in for your children? Give me a break, Cathy. I’ve been nothing but good to your children. Even when Mark was in jail I was the one who was mentoring him. I thought you appreciated that.”

  “I do.” She knew he was right. He had made such a difference in Mark’s life. “I really do, Steve. But why can’t I do things for my children? You do things for Tracy.”

  “I’m not going to buy her a car.”

  “Well, why not? When it’s her turn I’ll be just as generous with her as I am with my kids. I don’t understand why I can’t buy my son a car.”

  “Because it builds character to have them pay their own way.”

  “Well, that’s fine,” she said, “except for the last few years Mark hasn’t been interested in paying his own way. And for the last year he’s been in jail so he couldn’t possibly have saved for his car. He got out with a new attitude, St
eve, and he’s trying to change his life. I want to help him. Is that so wrong?”

  His face softened as he stared at the road in front of him. “No, it’s not wrong, Cathy, and I do understand your intentions. And if you want to buy him a car, go ahead. I don’t want to stand in your way. I just think that one is a little bit too expensive.”

  “I’ll pay for it,” she said. “Come on, Steve. I earn plenty of money, and you earn plenty of money. Together we don’t have financial problems to speak of. Why can’t I splurge a little bit with my son?”

  “Okay, now we’re down to it.” Steve set his mouth again. “I should have known we weren’t really pooling our resources. It comes down to yours and mine. The first time I balk at something you want to buy, you all of a sudden want to take your half back. Is that how it’s going to be?”

  She grabbed her ponytail and tugged on it. “No! I’m just saying that if I work hard and earn my share, why can’t I spend it on my son? I don’t know why everything has to be so hard.”

  “Everything is hard?” he asked. “I thought we’d done pretty well, Cathy. For the last six months we’ve done really, really well. Until Mark came home.”

  “Are you saying that Mark has caused all this trouble? Because he hasn’t done anything. He’s been a perfect angel.”

  “He’s been a good kid,” Steve conceded. “I’m not saying he hasn’t. I just think that maybe we were sailing along too smoothly until we had more kids in the house, and now that we’ve got Annie back home and Rick dropping in and out at all hours…”

  “And Tracy,” Cathy added. “Don’t forget that you have a child in the mix, too.”

  “I know that,” he said. “It’s just that we have different parenting styles and different philosophies on what a kid needs as they grow older.”

  “Well, we’re going to have to find some common philosophies,” she said. “We’re going to have to agree on some things before Tracy gets any older. But right now I can’t go back and undo everything I’ve done with my children.”

  He banged his hand on the steering wheel. “But you can change a few things now.”